Site Change

I haven’t posted in a long time. I know; I should remove the “Post-A-Day-2012” icon from my sidebar. The past few months of my life have been very busy. I was finishing up my first year of college and then I left to Chile for a couple weeks.

Honestly, I could not find a muse to keep up with this blog or my other one.

This past month, I have been working on a major decision. Yes, I am calling it quits on iRather.
However, I will keep up the humor and I will be recommitting to the Post-A-Day challenge.

I have transferred all of my content to my new location at http://matthewtapp.wordpress.com/  This is the home of my new blog Words. which will exhibit the strengths that were present in both iRather and my other blog A Blind Man’s Take. The “would you rathers” will no longer be everyday but they will live on, with a new question and answer each Wednesday!

This is a decision I have put a lot of thought into and I hope it will be a success. I will be posting every day on Words. but the type of content will vary each day.

If you have enjoyed any of my work please show your support and follow my new site.

This will be my last post on this site, but I will leave it up for some time so people know that I have not completely disappeared but simply moved to a new blog!

Thank you for reading and please visit Words. Currently, the blog is set to private but it will be changed to public tomorrow for its official launch on July 1st 2012. Thank you!

Live by Faith,
Matthew Tapp

be an excellent security guard …or… be a terrible FBI agent

At some point in every young lad’s life, there is a desire to wield a gun, wear a badge, and kick some bad guys crass mouth.

FBI agents get to do just that. They have the badge and the gun. When it comes to protecting and serving, these guys are top notch. In the eyes of normal, everyday, run of  the mill citizens these guys (and gals) are superheroes.

But what about that one guy who barely passed the entrance exam? That guy who only got the job because his uncle runs the department. The one who crashes his Prius into a crime scene. You know, that guy who does paper work all day.

Would working for the FBI be worth it if you were the worst?

I don’t think I would like it. I’m sure the perks would be nice. I could brag to the chicks. The pay would definitely be better then working security. But I would be miserable.
Being an FBI agent is about the action, the pride in knowing you are making a difference, the respect! You don’t get that if you’re terrible and end up pushing papers all day.

I know what you’re thinking though.
“It doesn’t matter how terrible of an FBI agent you are, it is better then being a security guard!”

Well, I beg to differ.

If I am an excellent security guard then I will have respect from my co-workers and employers. Sure, society may think I am nothing more than a second rate rent-a-cop but I would prove them wrong.

I share the views. I have ran into many lowly security guards who let their law enforcement fantasies take their ego on a power trip.

But it doesn’t have to be that way.
I wouldn’t settle to be some parking lot cop. My mission would be to become private security for a big shot CEO or celebrity. Thats when things get glorious.

I would be paid well.
I would be issued a firearm.
I could wear cool leather jackets and slick black shades.
Plus, I would be excellent.
No evildoer would get past me.
I would guard the objective and keep my perimeter secure.
I would inspire children.
I would be the hope for security enforcers everywhere.

*arm yourself with the most powerful Nerf guns …or… arm yourself with the most powerful Super Soakers

* if you were in a rough part of town…

You never know what could happen. Strolling down the street can quickly turn from a pleasant outing to a violent blood feud. Will you leave town with your life or in body bag?
It all depends on the heat you’re packing.

So what will it be; Nerf or Super Soaker?

Nerf Guns
Strengths:
Tactical. Nerf has developed a variety of weapons to equip a solider to find victory in any situation. They have stable single shot hang guns equipped with laser sighting systems, intimidating rapid fire revolvers, and even long range optical zoom sniper rifles. Whatever situation you find yourself in, Nerf has built a weapon for it.

High Ammo Capacity. Nerf understands that we all can’t be a perfect shot so they make endless amounts of those deadly foam darts just incase we need to reload.

User Friendly. This is an important quality for a weapon. Nerf is as simple as inserting a foam dart into a hole and then pulling a trigger. A 6+ year old could do it. Basically, when you find yourself in a conflict thats about to turn Thuglife, you won’t need to stress about clicking safety buttons or swinging levers. Just aim and shoot.

Weaknesses:

Unreliable. Nerf weaponry has a high rate of misfires. If the darts are slightly tweaked or a spring isn’t tightly coiled then that dart may drop to the ground a foot in front of you. On top of that, the suction cup technology is faulty and recycling a dart may result in it bouncing off a window the second time it is fired.

Chocking Hazard. You heard me.

Super Soakers
Strengths:

Powerful. Super Soakers can pack a punch. Modeled after the Blastoise hydro cannons, a super soaker delivers a pressurized stream of H2O towards your enemies that is powerful enough to irritate the eyes and cause redness of the skin.

Double As A Canteen. War can be exhausting. Instead of weighing yourself down with water bottles and the like, one can just unscrew their super soaker cartridge and take a swig from that.

X Factor. Super soakers posses a strength not found in any other weapon known to man. Its potential is realized when you spray a quick burst of water straight to the crotchal region. The effect is the appearance of your enemy peeing his/her pants, thus, devastating them with utter humiliation.

Weaknesses:

Effectivity is Correlated with User’s Strength. The majority of (useful) Super Soakers are pump action. This means that trot damage to be done, one must have a decently formed bicep to operate the canon.

Limited Ammo. Super Soakers use water and they use it quickly. A full tank of water can run out in moments. This is a problem in the heat of battle, especially because it takes a reliable faucet and a few minutes of cover to refill a Super Soaker.

So which is it?

Lets be real. If I am in the “rough part of town” then I will most likely die if I’m only packing a child’s toy. But that all depends on the town too.
If I’m in Compton then of course things will get bloody.
If I’m in town of a few hundred people in the middle of nowhere then the rough part of town is going to be the parking lot of the local liquor store.

Either case, I would rather have the Nerf Guns. I have more experience using those.

Which would you rather?

Here is the deal.

Yes, I know I am supposed to be doing the “post-a-day 2012.”
Yes, I know I have not posted in the past 10 days.

I apologize for my absence and I will attempt to explain myself because I know you all probably weeping in your chair right now due to the lack of content.

Trust me. I feel the same. I want to be writing, I want to be creative.
Sadly, I haven’t had the time.

It is coming to the end of my semester, thus, finals, papers, projects, and presentations are bullying my free time. And this is how I feel. 

Yet, light is at the end of the tunnel.
Next week is my “official” finals week, but I won’t have much left to do. The postings will resume and I will once again bless the world with my splendid humor.

In the mean time, leave comments with some ideas for new posts! The more questions I have, the less time it takes to come up with creative ones myself.

Thank you for you’re understanding.

 

witness the Aurora Borealis …or… visit the Great Barrier Reef

2 of the world’s natural 7 wonders.
which to choose?

I’ve always been an admirer of sea life. Scuba diving, swimming with dolphins, and searching the wreckage of a sunken ship have always been on my bucket list. Visiting the Great Barrier Reef is now on that list too.
Marvelous beauty lies under the surface of the oceans. Creation is amazing, and I would love to explore such a wonder.
Not only is the reef itself a marvel to be held, but it is home to a diverse range of aquatic life. It would be like guest starring in Finding Nemo. Who knows, maybe I can even hitch a ride on a turtles back.
I would definitely enjoy a chance to explore undersea world of the Great Barrier Reef.

Out of the 7 natural wonders of the world, I imagine the Northern Lights to be the most miraculous. Pictures of the Aurora Borealis produce amazement. I am sure that witnessing the lights in person would be a breath taking moment.
Etymologically, the lights are connected with the divine and rightfully so because they reflect, what I imagine to be, the beauty of heaven.
I do desire to take a trip to either the northern or southern lights. I would expect the experience to be life changing and a story to tell my grandchildren.

It is settled. One day I will visit the heavenly Northern Lights. And hopefully the Great Barrier Reef too.
But if I had to make a choice, I would much rather visit the Aurora Borealis.