*arm yourself with the most powerful Nerf guns …or… arm yourself with the most powerful Super Soakers

* if you were in a rough part of town…

You never know what could happen. Strolling down the street can quickly turn from a pleasant outing to a violent blood feud. Will you leave town with your life or in body bag?
It all depends on the heat you’re packing.

So what will it be; Nerf or Super Soaker?

Nerf Guns
Tactical. Nerf has developed a variety of weapons to equip a solider to find victory in any situation. They have stable single shot hang guns equipped with laser sighting systems, intimidating rapid fire revolvers, and even long range optical zoom sniper rifles. Whatever situation you find yourself in, Nerf has built a weapon for it.

High Ammo Capacity. Nerf understands that we all can’t be a perfect shot so they make endless amounts of those deadly foam darts just incase we need to reload.

User Friendly. This is an important quality for a weapon. Nerf is as simple as inserting a foam dart into a hole and then pulling a trigger. A 6+ year old could do it. Basically, when you find yourself in a conflict thats about to turn Thuglife, you won’t need to stress about clicking safety buttons or swinging levers. Just aim and shoot.


Unreliable. Nerf weaponry has a high rate of misfires. If the darts are slightly tweaked or a spring isn’t tightly coiled then that dart may drop to the ground a foot in front of you. On top of that, the suction cup technology is faulty and recycling a dart may result in it bouncing off a window the second time it is fired.

Chocking Hazard. You heard me.

Super Soakers

Powerful. Super Soakers can pack a punch. Modeled after the Blastoise hydro cannons, a super soaker delivers a pressurized stream of H2O towards your enemies that is powerful enough to irritate the eyes and cause redness of the skin.

Double As A Canteen. War can be exhausting. Instead of weighing yourself down with water bottles and the like, one can just unscrew their super soaker cartridge and take a swig from that.

X Factor. Super soakers posses a strength not found in any other weapon known to man. Its potential is realized when you spray a quick burst of water straight to the crotchal region. The effect is the appearance of your enemy peeing his/her pants, thus, devastating them with utter humiliation.


Effectivity is Correlated with User’s Strength. The majority of (useful) Super Soakers are pump action. This means that trot damage to be done, one must have a decently formed bicep to operate the canon.

Limited Ammo. Super Soakers use water and they use it quickly. A full tank of water can run out in moments. This is a problem in the heat of battle, especially because it takes a reliable faucet and a few minutes of cover to refill a Super Soaker.

So which is it?

Lets be real. If I am in the “rough part of town” then I will most likely die if I’m only packing a child’s toy. But that all depends on the town too.
If I’m in Compton then of course things will get bloody.
If I’m in town of a few hundred people in the middle of nowhere then the rough part of town is going to be the parking lot of the local liquor store.

Either case, I would rather have the Nerf Guns. I have more experience using those.

Which would you rather?


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